Some People Live Through Hell and Still Choose Love

The Bravest People You’ll Ever Meet Are Often Silent

Today, I’m dedicating my Substack post to my aunt LaDonna — a survivor, a thriver, a hero, and a woman who saved her own life many times…and now uses her voice to help others return to theirs.

Could you imagine being 14 years old…

Home alone for the first time.
The kind of home-alone excitement where you feel grown all up.
It’s the first time your mom has trusted you in this way.
The whole house is yours.

You’re doing the little things you can only do when no one’s watching.
Talking on the house phone too loud.
Walking around a little freer.
Feeling like a real adult, even if it’s just for a few hours.

If you’ve ever been home alone as a kid, then you know that feeling — That fresh taste of independence. That tiny, tease of adulthood.

And the saddest truth about being home alone as a teen, is how quickly that innocence can be interrupted. One moment you’re safe…and then there’s a knock at the door — and your entire life changes.

My Aunt LaDonna was horrifically kidnapped from her home (pictured below).
And survived the aggression of sexual assault at the hands of someone who was not a stranger — one of the most heinous violations a human being can endure…a betrayal and a crime no child should ever have to live through.

There is a particular kind of evil — and a matching hell — in stealing someone’s innocence. In my opinion, it’s one of the greatest crimes against humanity — because it doesn’t just harm the body and the mind…it tries to rewrite the soul.

My aunt was 14 years old when she was changed forever.

And she is, without exaggeration, one of the strongest human beings I have ever known.

Because some people don’t just survive…

They return — again, and again, and again.

They keep breathing — even when breathing hurts.
They keep showing up — even when the world feels unsafe.
They keep loving — even after life gave them every reason to shut down.

And not enough people talk about what that requires.
Not enough people talk about what it takes to overcome the psychological warfare of sexual trauma — especially when it happens during childhood, at the very beginning of becoming.

My Auntie fought for her life…
and then had to fight for her sanity.

Through flashbacks.
Through shame that never belonged to her.
Through guilt that was never hers to carry.
Through all the invisible questions — and still choose to live anyway.

And she’s still here. Still my Auntie DeeDee.

Still loving.
Still soft in the places that could’ve turned her cold.
Still alive.
Still becoming.
Still doing the work — quietly, bravely, without fanfare.

Deeders, I love you.
I have always seen you, so clearly.
And I’ve always been so proud of you.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been through something — or you love someone who has…

Tell them this:

You are not your trauma.
You are not what happened to you.
You are not responsible for the evil act(s) that tried to take you out.

And you are loved.

Also, please remember, that there are so many people walking around this world with invisible wars inside them — and still choosing love and life.

I often think about both my aunts and my mother leaving Columbia, Missouri for San Diego, California — carrying our family history, grief, and survival in their bodies… and still choosing to start over. Still choosing to live. Still choosing to heal.

And what I admire most about my Aunt LaDonna and the women in my family, is that: no matter what happened to her — or what life struggles came next — she has always led by example.

She showed me that no matter what life throws at us, the women in our family keep getting up…and we find our way back to ourselves, every time.

That is a form of power most people will never understand.

Today, I’m sending love to every survivor.
Every warrior.
Every Auntie turned hero.
Every overcomer.
Every person carrying weight no one can see…and still trying.

This post is for her.
And for the ones still silent.
You are, and have always been, more than what happened to you.

To read more about her story — as she continues sharing her journey and the advocacy work she’s doing through her foundation to help others — you can follow her here at: The LaDonna Renee VST Foundation and the Find Your Voice Victim/Survivor/Thriver initiative.

If her story resonated with you — or if you’ve experienced similar trauma and need community, support, or language for what you’ve lived through — You can find her writing — and additional resources, here . As well as → LaDonna Renee’s Substack and LaDonna Renee’s Facebook.

If you feel compelled, please share this post — and if you know someone who needs a little extra courage to find their voice today…send them this.

Love you,

Auntie Shea ✌🏾